There is only one kind of love: love.

There are certainly many kinds of relationship, but love belongs at the heart of them all. Love may find outward expression in many different ways in our many , but different relationships but love is of itself one and the same thing. Certainly we feel variously about our various relationships, and the people we share those relationships with, but without exception love improves every relationship and the best relationships are where love is mutual.

Even a relationship with someone we love but who doesn't love us is better than the same relationship without love at all.

Jesus: For this reason I was born... to bear witness to the truth.
Pilate: Truth? What's that?

"What is truth?" has been asked for as long as we have been asking questions and there are many kinds of answer.

'Truth' can mean the opposite of falsehood, deception, or the withholding of information. In this sense 'truth' is along the lines of "thou shalt not bear false witness", or "abstinence from false speech", or "I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

In another sense, 'truth' is to do with understanding and knowledge and is in opposition to ignorance, misunderstanding, or delusion.

When it comes to living the way of truth and love, a combination of the two is helpful. But first:

• To speak the truth, we must first be willing to speak it.
• To know the truth, we must first be willing to know it.

Probably the number one obstacle to speaking the truth is fear.

It's often fear of other people, especially fear of what they will think of us. We are social creatures after all and need to belong. Insecurity can also lead us to say things that aren't true because we think other people will think better of us if we say them.

Probably the number one obstacle to knowing the truth - about anything - is our own ego.

We usually think that what we think is right. If we think that something we think is wrong, then we will stop thinking it and think what we think is right. Thinking something is true merely because we already think it is true will not get us far. If, however, we are willing to think we may be wrong, about anything and everything; then we can progress.

This can be quite challenging.

It is helpful to tell the difference between facts and opinions or value judgments.

For example, suppose Petra likes a TV programme called 'Neighbourwatch'. If she says, "I like Neighbourwatch," then that is a fact. If she says, "Neighbourwatch is good," then that is an opinion. Now suppose Peter does not like Neighbourwatch. If he says to Petra, "Neighbourwatch is rubbish," then Petra will disagree. However, they could both agree that Petra likes Neighbourwatch and Peter does not.

Usually, facts are true and opinions are neither true nor false.

Our emotions are generally a consequence of our thoughts, especially subconscious thoughts, and we tend to work backwards to justify our emotions by consciously thinking thoughts that were likely to result in those emotions.

Here's an example that was once on the Royal College of Psychiatrists web site about Cognitive Therapy:
You're walking along the street and pass someone you know. You say "hello," but they pass by without responding.
What does this mean? You could be upset because someone you thought was a friend has snubbed you. Perhaps you've done something to offend them, or they think you've done something to offend them...
OR: Perhaps they had something on their mind and they did not notice you. If they had noticed, they would have asked how you were.

If we subconsciously thought the friend ignored us for an unhappy reason, then we might feel upset, and so we consciouly think the unhappy reason must be right because then we were right to feel upset.

In that example, the 'truth' is that we do not know why the friend did not respond to your greeting. We can then, if we want, try to work out what is the most likely reason.

The Martian view...

... or how things appear to the intelligent, but neutral observer.

The 'Martian' is an imaginary fellow who observes us and makes deductions but does not understand our language. Because he does not understand our language, he is completely immune to "spin" and just sees what happens. His point of view can be very helpful indeed, once we've got the hang of imagining it.

For example, suppose there's an election. Our Martian observer sees some people standing on soap boxes at various locations around the town, waving their arms and talking loudly. (He doesn't understand a word, though.) Some people stand by and seem to be paying attention, others pass by, maybe one throws a vegetable. The next day some of the people put an 'X' on a piece of paper and into a box, and then some others count them all out. Then one of the people who was on a soap box comes to the front of the room, waves his arms a bit more and talks a bit less loudly than before. The other people in the room clap their hands then go away. The following day they all go back to whatever they were doing the day before.

The Martian might deduce that the people have chosen one of their number for a special honour or reward. He might go on to deduce the each person voted according to their evaluation of what the people on the soap boxes were saying, how adept they were at waving, or how good looking they were.

The 'Martian view' is helpful because it's focusses our attention on facts. Whilst we don't see any more than we see from our usual point of view, what we do see is true and we can go on to make deductions that are likely to be true also. It also helps by drawing our attention to things we might otherwise overlook because we assume things. For instance, we may assume people vote based on political views because that's what they "should" do, and overlook two of the Martian's deductions.

To know the truth we need to be willing to know it, even if it turn's out not to be what we would like it to be, believed it to be, or thought it should be.

Of course, for very young children who have not yet learned language, the 'Martian view' is the only one.